Concentrating on the Inside

One thing I've noticed about juicing, is that I have these sudden moments of clarity. It's really a strange feeling. Out of nowhere, I feel like everything is as it should be. I've never done drugs, but I imagine this is the "high" people talk about.

And in one moment of clarity, I decided to just sit and think about what ails me. What are my "problem areas" as a beauty consultant might ask?

1. I'm fat. Yeah, pretty obvious. I haven't weighed myself since my last doctor's visit a few months ago, but I know I'm at least a hundred pounds overweight.
2. I have high blood pressure. I was diagnosed a week shy of my 21st birthday with hypertension. I'll be 34 next month. I've been on several different meds. I'm always stressed out. I was considered a high risk pregnancy while pregnant with my son. That was NOT fun. 
3. I'm at risk for diabetes. My father is Type II diabetic, as was his father. My dad takes pills. My grandfather had to use insulin. Although I was heavily monitored during my pregnancy, I was lucky enough not to get gestational diabetes. Yeah, that would've been torture, because I was sick for 7 months and would only eat fruit, chocolate milk, Arby's sandwiches, and peanut butter and crackers. Everything else made me sick.
4. My back always hurts. Always. I have scoliosis. It may be TMI, but my husband calls my back "Wednesday" because it has a big hump (and Wednesday is what people refer to as "hump day"). This is due to all the weight from my fat belly.
5. My ankle hurts. When I worked in retail standing on my feet for 8 hours, it would hurt a lot. Back then, the doctor said I have tendonitis. Recently it's been starting up again. It's so bad that I have a really hard time walking, especially in the morning. I can't turn my ankle certain way as easily as I once could. I'm pretty sure it's the major weight I seemed to have gained in the past year.
6. I'm always feeling like I could cry. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's called depression? And I'm pretty sure it's because I'm sad about my weight. My weight seems to be a running theme here. It's causing me to not want to do things I used to like to do. Or even not allowing me to do things I used to be able to do.
7. I'm tired all the time. Like too tired to even make dinner, play with my son, get my work done, or even smile. I'm just wanting a nap, like, all the time.
8. I crave crappy food. I like all types of food. Sushi is my favorite. But being pricey, I rarely get to eat it...unless it's from Costco or I make it myself. But besides that, I have a soft spot for peanut butter and crackers with a huge glass of milk (1% or fat free, of course). Maybe it was the holidays? Oh who am I kidding? It all sounds good!

As of right now, I'm thinking I'll keep a mind on these 8 issues and see if there's any improvement during my juicing. I feel better already just having written that down.